Trigger Warning!
This world is a fucked-up, traumatizing, and hateful place. I live in this world, and so my words, experiences, and thoughts are birthed from within it. Further, it should come to no surprise that this blog will detail many of these fucked-up things in graphic detail. Fortunately, resilience is what I do, and I try my hardest to ferment inspiration from the darkest parts of my life. It's time to confront, it's time to resist, and of course... it's time to win.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Excerpt from a Letter (Written 8-23-09)

Parts of this letter have been excluded for personal/security reasons.

... It's also late and I can't sleep. My cellmate just caught "chain"--that means got on a big white bus to prison. Her's the anti-civ one that read Endgame 1 & 2 and Culture in like two weeks. I'm nervous for him so I can't sleep. He's been doing prison for most of his life, and I hope this time it changes for him. He says he's more motivated than he's ever been. :)
When I first got locked up I was so so angry and energetic. Now I'm starting to get in the "groove" of things, and I hate it. ... Today I spent more time with the sociopath woman killer... He scares me so much. I gave him my email. He thinks we are not only on the "same side" but also potential friends. If he emails me when he gets out we will have to come up with some evil plan for him, or at least mischievous.

The "Colonel" is this schizophrenic who is on lock-down for 23 hours a day, and they only let him out for one hour between like 2 and 3 am, and so he just came to my door and we talked for a bit. He's a sweetheart, and it hurts to see him in here, especially with his infliction. It can't be good. He's been in here for like 4 months for improper use of 9-11, but I think there is more to it.

Well I really was just writing because I was wide awake thinking about my cell mate, and I also don't want to have to go to bed and have nightmares. Last night they were the worst they've ever been in here... I hate it... but good news: I read today about inmates setting a prison on fire in Kentucky and about a dam being taken down here, and about Mexico City decriminalizing drugs, and about California having to let go of thousands of inmates cause they can't afford them, and about "natural disasters" getting more intense in the next 20 years--I only hope I can do the same--no I'll make sure I can do the same.

Something meaningful and inspiring,

-Jailbird J
(Transcribed by Ruthie)

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