Trigger Warning!
This world is a fucked-up, traumatizing, and hateful place. I live in this world, and so my words, experiences, and thoughts are birthed from within it. Further, it should come to no surprise that this blog will detail many of these fucked-up things in graphic detail. Fortunately, resilience is what I do, and I try my hardest to ferment inspiration from the darkest parts of my life. It's time to confront, it's time to resist, and of course... it's time to win.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Excerpt from a Letter (Mon 8/03/09)

This is most of an older letter sent from the Roseburg Jail. Some parts are excluded for possible security reasons.

I Hate Jail, it is a cold and desperate place. They make it that way to break your spirits, but I refuse to let them break mine. I'm goin to stay strong through all of this no matter how ridiculous their attempts at punishing me may be. In case my Mom hasn't informed you, here's the brief rundown. They are trying to prosecute me because I fled probation. I fled probation because I was miserable. The probation was for graffiti ... So the only thing you didn't know was that I was still on the run for it ... So I'm facing 2 years in State Jail. If so I will serve day for do all two years.

This is so ludicrous. Most cases of rape and manslaughter get 10 years in prison with parole out in 18 months--but this is capitalism. This is a culture that puts a price on everything it owns. It clearly values buildings over women and children. Yes, I hate it. Yes we will change it, or die trying.

So there is an 18-20% chance that we can convince them not to lock me away and an even smaller chance that I will be able to leave the state of Texas, but I want you to know I am trying hard and you are one of the main motivating factors. Look at the bright side, I'll have some crazy amazing stories when I get back.

So they have been moving me every few days, and every time they do, they take all my shit away, including my legal paperwork and letters. I finally have a chance to write you, but I still have to make it short because my wonderful Mom has to transcribe it via e-mail to you ... I did not fully realize how much people care about and depend on me until I got kidnapped away from them.

It took 7 very long days to get to my destination of Nueces County Jail. Sleeping shackled sitting up in a van is no fun at all. They forced McDonalds happy meals down my throat three times a day for the whole 7 days. I kind of know how you feel being surrounded by sexist, racist and homophobic people who by no means "get it". The skinheads and Nazis are pissed that I didn't join them for their protection, but I've been fighting them since I was 14 and I'm not going to stop now.

It's scary how segregated jail and prison are. Even if I get locked up there is good work to do from in here. ...

Until the last cop is hung by the entrails, or the last judge.

(Transcribed by Ruthie)

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