Trigger Warning!
This world is a fucked-up, traumatizing, and hateful place. I live in this world, and so my words, experiences, and thoughts are birthed from within it. Further, it should come to no surprise that this blog will detail many of these fucked-up things in graphic detail. Fortunately, resilience is what I do, and I try my hardest to ferment inspiration from the darkest parts of my life. It's time to confront, it's time to resist, and of course... it's time to win.

Monday, May 17, 2010

dog soldier

revolutionaries used to carry guns
now it seems they resemble something more close to bums
it use to be the in thing to know worldly affairs
now we all must be too consumed with our own internal despair
capitalism has won and it reigns over us
we no longer know what it means to say enough
so instead we enter our mid-twenties and just give up

give up, give in, give out that meager pocket chain solidarity
grow up, cave in, throw out everything we used to be about
anarchy means doing what whatever the fuck I want
so I'll eat my taco bell
autonomy means I have every right to kill myself
so pass me another two beers
I despise authority and abolish all morality
smoke them up with just one more pack

I'm not trying to say my addiction to poorly planned notepad poetry is any better
and just so you know... my self-righteous judgments don't help me sleep at night either
still higher spirits and desires is what I miss and I must admit
I have no fucking clue how to get them back
yet even now, with all of this
my friendships are one thing I will never lack
but I still cant help to see it's getting harder and harder
to hop scotch down this broken and shattered path just to get back

so stay close to my side my dear dear friend
as a canyon creating line draw its way across the dirt
stay so close to my insides that sometimes it hurts
because I've got a lot of questions to the answers we've been spouting
touting, shouting, pouting – or whatever it takes, I'll ask, I'll state
what are we going to do with our everything at stake
let me restate, my friendships are my everything
with dog rope and picket-pin, here I lay down my stake

-Jayson Tx

"Attached to each dog rope was a picket-pin [used to tether horses]. The pin was driven into the ground as a mark of resolve in combat. When a Dog Soldier was staked to the ground in order to cover the retreat of his companions, he was required to remain there even if death was the consequence. The Dog Man could pull the pin from the ground only if his companions reached safety or another Dog Soldier released him from his duty."

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