(written from Nueces County Jail)
There are very few things more beautiful in life then short stumpy men, singing tejano naked in the shower no more than 10 feet from you. Summer camp's been awesome! I don't ever want to leave. I've learned so much during arts and crafts. We made a tattoo gun out of a fan motor and toothbrush, and ran it on an electrical charge via headphone wire from the nearest fire alarm. We melted down checker pieces for red and black ink. I learned how to make oil pastels by crushing colored pencil lead and mixing it with the oil from my very own hair. In survival school, we learn to create fire from a staple, pencil and toilet paper. We also learned how to talk to other campers through the actual toilets and air vents, it's so much easier than the can and string method. In cooking class we made a feast, it's called a cell block spread! 20 chile lime Ramen noodles, mix with 10 packages of mayonnaise, 5 bags of fire hot corn chips, 6 bags of jalapeno pretzels, 6 bags of cajun style pork rhyndes, 2 single serve packages of spam, 8 2-ounce squeeze packages of nacho cheese, and 3 packages of chili with beans. Mix together in a mop bucket or tupperware bin, add hot water and sit on it to seal. Wait 10 minutes and serve with saltine crackers. For best results crush all ingredients before mixing. The foot-stomp concrete floor method works best! Doing laundry just like the pilgrims did. Using the toilet as a tub or basin, we mix 2 parts soap to 1 part toothpaste for fresh smelling clothes. We don't have a clothesline so we use spoons to hold the drying clothes. After laundry we use the same toilet to make Hooch - it's a juice beverage made from baking yeast, kool aid, and whatever fruit we can get our hands on. I can't wait to try it, it makes all the other campers laugh and go crazy. Some of the campers save and dry banana and orange peels, then they "keester" it to take it to other campers, that's where you hold it in between your left and right buttcheeks. Then they smoke it, but I think they are using Bible papes to roll it and I don't like that at all. Today, there was pieces of bologna inside my jello, how weird is that? Well I love you both but I hope I never leave here! But I guess if I do, I can just come back next year!
Tommy Thompson #10126758
(Transcribed by Charity)