old stuff round 1

here is the first bit of some stuff that never got posted while I was locked up... I think for the most part I'm going to keep this as true to the original content as when I first wrote them. In this one I originally included some footnotes, so yeah...

A failure of the Texas public defender system Oct. 17^th, 2009

Moments before court, Chris Iles, dim-wit attorney at law, was explaining to his client in an unreasonable, abstract, and undeniably foolish analogy to what his client was actually up against. 1 His infelicitous words, if anything, only delayed an unequivocal dereliction of not only the legal oath that supposedly bonds him to duty, but also any sensible intelligence one might have inappropriately assumed to find in him. The dialogue went as follows:

Chris: See, what you are asking for is like, well... it's like asking for a large pepperoni pizza when we are at a Whataburger drive-thru. 2

Client: What are you trying to say?

Chris: That you really only have three options. You could choose the Whataburger meal which would be 15 months at SAFP, 3 or the chicken strip meal which would mean 18 months, day for day, in State Jail, or you could get the Whatachick'n meal.

Client: And whats the Whatachick'n meal?

Chris: You go in front of the judge and swing yer own deal.

But then, From the ashes of a never once great public defender system, a phoenix takes flight...

Client: But what if I want the triple meat with cheese?

Chris: What does that mean?

Client: It means YOUR FIRED FOOL!

After firing Chris Iles, his client received a new attorney and eventually got a better much deal, 9 months in State Jail.

1. Texas does not have a true public defenders system, instead it pays attorneys -most of whom cannot find their own clientele- a meager fee ranging $300-$1500 to represent a defendant through any and all court proceedings.

2. Whataburger is a Texas based fast food chain. It was founded in the 1950's, in Corpus Christi, and comes second to none in Corpus' claim to fame, only to be beaten by Selena, who was born, raised, and murdered here, finally putting the dirty city by the sea on the map.

3. SAFP (pronounced Safe-P) is an utterly disgusting excuse for a peer-based rehabilitation facility. I and other inmates refer to it as Snitch-P because that seems to be the only life skill the inmates suckered into going there ever learn.

Can't Stop, Won't Stop, Stab-A-Cop

- Jayson Tx-